Doga

I try to stay current. Sometimes I am so current I am ahead of myself. And I am always curious how a country-dog-at-heart like me matches up against dogs in faster sorts of cities. Like in Hong Kong or Boca Raton, for example, life-in-the-fast-lane places.

Well, someone emailed my Person a link to a story (I don't really know what any of that means, I am just repeating what I heard her say) about the latest thing, called Doga. It is yoga classes for people and their dogs. And there are classes like that in Hong Kong and Boca Raton and maybe even in your town!

Excuse me while I snort.

Since when does a dog need a yoga class? I am demonstrating right now how dogs like me, athletic ones anyway, can wiggle and bend and stretch in all sorts of directions all at once! Now my Person attends a yoga class every few days and she sometimes performs her asanas at home. She even does one called Downward Facing Dog! Let me tell you, a dog in that pose is irresistibly cute. A person in that pose is both resistible and very awkward looking. And fairly red in the face.

I admit that dogs are naturally designed for something like yoga. The idea that we have to go to a class to learn this is ridiculous. People should just do as we dogs do instead. First, give up the whimsical notion of arms and grow four legs instead. Much better for speed and balance. Next, roll around on the ground and wiggle every part of your body. Don't chant or hum or breathe through one nostril. Instead, snort and sneeze while you are rolling. Then stand up and shake all those parts until you feel excellent all over. Then wag your tail and you are set.

All I can say to those dogs in Boca, with their yoga mats slung in the back of their Person's sports car, is I am sorry for them. And now I am going to roll in the grass a bit more. And I am not even going to use a mat!